Being nice or having emotional intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence the book was published by Daniel Goleman 25 years ago.
At that time it was revolutionary.
This week in some conversation I had, it became very relevant while I hear a discussion while one of the executive was criticizing the others.
“You are too nice, you must be more tough”
Normally in the next few days it was leading that executive to have less powerful conversation , loosing his ability to lead and influence in a different kind of relations instead of that his was to proving that he tough as expected.
To spot that lets bring to our recognition to the difference between the two, identifying where we are and understand the power of having emotional intelligence.
Being empathetic is total different then being sympathetic ,
There are three different type of empathy:
Cognitive- “ I know how you think”
Emotional- “ I know how you feel”
And emphatic care- “ I care about you”
So you can still be demanding and getting great results by seeing the others which much more sustainable approach.
Self awareness which allows us to control our impulses and emphaty which allows us to understand the others, these two are crucial to any type of relationship.
Giving Clarity and aligning expectations - with out blaming or threatening but also not being passive , this will lead to high level of motivation.
Ignorance - this could be the wrongest approach that will lead also to demotivation and exhausted working environment.
According to D.Goleman there are three major principles in emotional intelligence :
Daniel Goleman HBR, Nov 7th ,2022
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